Unreasonable Overachievers

Psychologist John Eliot has a lot to say about overachievers.  ”Overachievers,” he insists, “don’t think reasonably, sensibly or rationally…  Many people are victims of the false-god syndrome. They think everything goes smoothly for others. They don’t realize that everyone else, including star performers, experience rejection and failure even on a daily basis. It’s not rejection that distinguishes achievers from nonachievers—it’s the way they handle failure.”  (Click here to read The Overachievers at Psychology Today, which includes some counterintuitive advice.)  

Folks may applaud an overachiever’s drive or hate them for showing up, and few remain neutral on the subject.  What is their motivation?  Why do they persist?  As a high-capacity individual, I can only speak for myself:  I often do things simply because it seems daunting or overwhelming to others.  Maybe I get a kick out of proving others wrong, perhaps it’s just friendly competition.  When I see something labelled as impossible or when someone tells me I can’t, my resolve is emboldened.  I believe this is the a common denominator among do-ers.

Sadly, “friendly competition” happens to look a lot like pride.  Left unchecked, overachievers build idols out of their accomplishments and even their ministries- I know because I’ve done it.  Unless we continually seek humility the seed of pride will take root.

I have nothing for which to commend myself before a completely holy God. That’s a good place for my soul to be in because it causes me to throw myself wholly on His mercy to me through Christ. It strips away my illusions of goodness

“When we fail to believe the truth about who Jesus is and miss the impact of His astounding work in suffering and dying for our sin, it will be impossible to resist the allurement of the gods of this earth as they whisper their promised pleasures to us.  Every time our hearts turn toward the worship of false gods we’re saying, God isn’t really good. He’s not righteous. He’s not loving or holy. I have to find other gods who will satisfy me because Jesus either can’t or won’t.”  Elyse Fitzpatrick

To my fellow overachievers:  Refuse to think reasonably, sensibly or rationally, but always stand guard against the secret sin of pride.

 

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5 Things Manic Over-Achievers Need to Know

Some of us are blessed with the ability to handle a high-capacity load.  When our plate appears full, we shovel on a few more helpings (I’m convinced that some of us were given trays instead of plates).  There are two common issues with high-capacity individuals:  We are unfamiliar with the word “no” and we continually push our limits.

Without a governing system, we’ll wake up and realize that we don’t have time for friends, or even family, because our life is packed with noise.  Harnessing the mad-man mentality of a manic over-achiever is difficult, but necessary.

1)  Allow intervention.  Grant someone who knows you well the power to say no, then listen without rebuttal.  Your intervention specialist should have an understanding of your capacity as well as a glimpse into your home life.  You may crave the intensity of a fast-paced day, but your family probably doesn’t share the same affinity for busy-ness.

2)  Do what makes you happy.  It’s difficult to swallow the food you hate.  If you’re going to have a lot on your plate, make sure you have the things you love.

3)  Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should – even if you think you can do it better. Keeping your grubby mitts out of a project makes room for other players to step to the plate.  Giving others the opportunity to learn and excel is the best way to build a team mentality.

4)  Allow your load to ebb and flow.  The weight of the world will always be on your shoulders as long as you offer to carry it.  The greatest reward of a heavy load is the relief and accomplishment felt when the burden is lifted.  Take time to recover.

5)  Give creativity room to breathe.  Taking a break is difficult for an over-achiever as rest is not in our nature.  Use the recovery period to have fun and doing something new.  When you step outside of your busy-ness you’ll inevitably make creative discoveries as you see the day through a different lens.

 

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Keep the Faith, Finish the Race

You’ll never know your limits if they’re never tested.  Resolve.  Persevere.  Conquer.  Finish.

Word: 2 Timothy

The above photo is one of Jim LePage’s amazing graphics from Word Bible Design series.  If only I had used this as inspiration yesterday.

The whistle blew and we pressed off the starting line.  As I rounded turn two, I fell into 3rd place.  With the finish line in sight, I realized that my hopes of victory had been extinguished. I lost faith.  My heart sank and just as I began to slow down there was a collision in turn 3.

I’m still in this!  There’s still a chance!  Only one person stands between me and victory!

Adrenaline began to flow and my legs felt fresh.  I pushed with all my might.  My competitor sensed my presence and moved to the inside lane in efforts to block my advance.  Had I made it to the inside lane I would have tasted the sweetness of victory.  If only I had kept the faith, I would have finished the race in a higher place.

Lesson learned.  There’s always next year.  Hops for Hope, I’ll see you in 2013.

 

 

 

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Wrecking My Journal

Finally – a book worth reading that my kids also enjoy.  Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith has already provided my family hours of entertainment.  Best ten bucks I’ve ever spent.

Lesson

Application

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Sneak Peak: Impromptu Pics of the Wahsburn Twins

The cherry blossoms were in bloom and I had my camera.  As a mother of two very boyish boys, it’s not very often I have the chance to photograph two beautiful girls having fun at the park.

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Sneak Peak: Kylie Overton Fundraiser at The Market in Maryville

The Market in Maryville is certainly one of my favorite places around town.  On 22 they donated every cent from the seafood boil of the season to Kylie Overton raising over $6000.  (Click here to read the story on Family Friendly Blount)  Below you’ll find a few of my favorite pictures from the event.

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Spring Portrait Special

The landscape is turning green and the flowers are beginning to bloom.  In honor of spring, I’m offering a portrait special.

Contact me this week to reserve your session (March 15 – May 15) and receive a $25 discount.  The session includes approximately 1 hour of onsite photography and a disc with 25-30 of the best images – edited and retouched – and a copyright release which allows you to print to your heart’s content.  The usual rate of $125 is temporarily reduced to $100.  A $25 deposit is required to save the date.  Click here to read more about the session and for a link to my portfolio.

Captain Obvious, God, and the DMV

My blogging hiatus is over, at least for today.  I’ve been off the grid for about 2 weeks in an effort to regroup.  Scratch that, it’s been more of journey to degroup.

As it turns out, lots of junk worked its way into my heart during the last several months.  Other things were never really cast upon the Lord.  I know we all have times of ebb and flow,  but this is different.  For a long time I’ve been prideful by saying things like, “You just can’t shake me.”

Even if Captain Obvious flew into my living room with his cape flapping proudly behind him and said, “Umm, can’t shake you?  Those are the words from a woman who has been shaked – or is it shooken?  Whatever – anyway, those are the words from a woman who has been rocked to the core.”

I’d leave a foot print on Captain Obvious’ face (accidentally, of course), as I wrestled him to the ground – not to silence him but to prove that I could.

Prove myself to whom?  What. The. Heck.

Anxious.  Anxious.  Anxious.  And I have been anxious for so long, that I didn’t recognize it as anxiety. I was so “strong” in the way I dealt with it all – so “strong” in the way I completely avoided looking at the ugly idols of my heart by adding more junk to my life.  I was so “strong” that I escaped to a false refuge of busy-ness, which is ironic because I always say (thanks to Beth Moore) that the devil doesn’t have to make us bad, he just has to make us busy.

For all of you who are wondering what the heck happened to in-your-face Rebecca Tatum, she is having an extreme heart makeover.  Thankfully, God is running the show and isn’t strutting around with a bullhorn, constantly shouting and threatening people with uber-spikey hair like Ty whats-his-face.

If you are super curious, or nosey, or even a bit of a gossip, have no fear.  Bits of the story,  or maybe all of the story will be shared at some point or another, but right now it’s about the process and the healing that comes from above.

With all of that said:  Happy Birthday to me.  Today, I turn 30.

I have always said that my 30′s would be my best and I believe that statement today more than ever.  God IS good.  To celebrate, I am getting fancied-up to visit the DMV and the county clerk’s office with my 5 and 3 year old boys.

“It’s not where I am; it’s who I’m with.”  ~The Avett Brothers, St Josephs

Instead of viewing my birthday tasks as layer straight from Dante’s Inferno, I am going to laugh.  My kids are delightfully strange and I’m going to enjoy their wacky charm, albeit at the DMV.  I choose joy.

 

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Radical Obedience: Don’t Steal Stuff, Y’all

Continuing the journey to Radical Obedience, it’s time to move onto the 8th commandment:  No stealing.  It’s only borrowing if you ask first, and this includes music.

Knowing this week lurked around the bend, I pirated lots of music and distributed as much copyrighted material as possible last week.  I’m almost certain I can make this one work.  I may be tempted by super cool pens at a doctor’s office, but surely I can overcome.

I did some intense research on this commandment via Google, only to have a post from atheism.com catch my attention.  Their argument is that the original context of “thou shall not steal” mostly involved slaves and the kidnapping of people.  It goes on to say that we’ve adapted the law to include property and the author disputes the validity of stealing intellectual or creative property.

Even if the 10 commandments don’t specifically apply to intellectual property, Romans 13:1-5 clearly tells us to obey the laws of the land, unless of course they oppose God.

1 Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. 4 For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

Whether or not it’s tangible is beside the point:  Don’t steal stuff, y’all.

 

 

 

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Radical Obedience: Reality Punch to the Face

When it comes to Radical Obedience, I fail only in an epic fashion – go big or go home, right?  Focusing on one commandment at a time is a great way to get a reality punch to the face.  The whole coveting thing opened my eyes, and lying – or the lack, thereof, has been an adventure.

I lie to my kids quite often.  I didn’t realize how many times I’ve told them we can’t go for frozen yogurt because they’re sold out of sprinkles, or that we can’t go to the dollar store because they are closed, or that we can’t go to fill-in-the-blank because mommy doesn’t remember how to get there.  Sheesh, I’m a jerk.

I was playing outside with my boys earlier this week.  A sweet man in the neighborhood walks his pooch in front of our house a few times each day.  He is the friendliest person on the face of the earth.  Too friendly.  And he can’t take a hint.  He will talk and talk and TALK and talk and … you get the idea.

Anyway, I saw him rounding the bend towards our house.  ”Hurry.  Go to the garage.  Go inside right now.  I’ll get you some ice cream or chips or a brand new bike, just go in the house right now.”

“But why, mama?  Why?  I don’t want to go inside.”

“Be quiet.  Pretend like we are ninjas.  We have to be quiet.  Go inside.  You can have anything you want.  Just do it.”

“Mama!  Mama!  Look!  That man has a dog.  Can we pet it?  Can we?”

“No!  No, no, no!  Just go.  Quickly.”

“Hey mister!  Can we pet your-”

“SSSsssssshhh!” I should as I cover his sweet mouth with my hand.  ”Inside.  Now.  Please, baby, please.  Do not talk to that man.”

“Why?  Is he bad?”

“No.  He is a very nice man.  And that is exactly why we can’t talk to him.”

“What?  I want to talk to him?  I want to pet his dog.  Just for a minute.  Please, mama?”

“Heck-to-the-no.  He talks a lot and I don’t really feel like talking to him right now.  Please, please just go inside.”

Honesty is the best policy – unless you are a jerkface.  As I was about to remind my boy that whole respect-your-parents thing, I was gently reminded of that whole love-your-neighbor thing.  Crap.  

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